Yes, it’s an adventure all right. I miss the body I had, which I didn’t fully appreciate in the moment. I miss being able to button my pants, or fit into them at all. I miss not having to wear a bra. I miss my old stomach.
My body now is a foreign thing, which I am doing my best to embrace.
Traditionally, I find yoga to soothe and rebalance my body when it feels a bit out of whack (like now), but yoga is beginning to present its own challenges to me. A few chaturangas into a practice I observe that my belly seems to be hitting the ground much earlier than expected. Also, the 25 extra pounds I’m carrying makes lowering my body a new challenge for my shoulders and back. Twists – not happening, really. Inversions I can still do, and some easier arm balances, but I definitely feel the difference from where once was. Also, if there was ever a time I wanted to do backbends, this is it. But, camel and bridge seem to be my limit – even early in the pregnancy, wheel felt like it might tear my stomach open.<
So, I am missing my more vigorous yoga practice these days.
On the flip side, my hips are doing things never before seen, and suddenly I find myself comfortably in malasana more often than is really necessary – like anytime I need to pick something up off the floor. So, there's that.
Below is a link to a video post from the studio where I did my teacher training in Bogota. It's a video of my rising one-legged into wheel. I am proud of my ability to do that – it's a challenge! I'm now using the video as inspiration to recall my more practiced self and hope that soon enough I will be back to this place physically. Namaste!
Antonia's Gaze 